The Un-Welcome Approach
You’ve remembered your manners and said “thank you” when appropriate. How often do you hear “no problem” from the other person? All too often, that’s my answer.
As “no problem” has caught on and spread, replacing “you’re welcome” in situations ranging from casual personal encounters to business deals, so has good manners gone down the tube. I dislike hearing “no problem” in commercial transactions and from those in customer service jobs, since, as the customer is always right, nothing a customer could ask for could ever be a problem. If it’s not possible for it to be a problem then why would you make sure I know that it wasn’t? Oh wait, yes, now I know: because it’s all about you.
Maybe the problem of “no problem” is one of self-centeredness. Is that a word? When you say no problem, you are describing or assessing how you feel about the favor or task that you are being thanked for instead of acknowledging the social nicety of a “thank you” with a statement that in turn acknowledges what was just said to you in a relational context. In other, fewer words: If you say “no problem,” you’re talking about yourself. If you say “you’re welcome,” the focus is still on the favoree, where it evidently belongs. That is, unless, everything is all about you.
Another way to look at it is to realize that the focus of “no problem” is actually on the problem rather than the service being performed. That being said, if you’re always highlighting the problem or the lack thereof related to the task asked of you, then where’s the feel-good customer service?
I’m probably one of the biggest offenders of this. If you’ve spent any time with me then you’ve undoubtedly heard me say “no worries” in place of “you’re welcome” to someone. It’s just a habit I’ve picked up and maybe that’s the problem. We’ve made it a habit to remove the positive, personal side of manners from our service. I can hardly believe that’s a good thing.
Maybe I’m just over thinking this whole thing. Possibly it’s just time for me to have another beer and shut the hell up. You’re welcome.
One Comments
On Sunday I had a conversation with a friend on this same topic. I believe that a significant "problem" with American society is our selfishness. That's why the English language spoken in this country has deteriorated to "Amer-RAHKIN" . I believe there would be a lot less crime in our country if those in jail and prison were expected to successfully complete a "manners" class. But that is a totally different commentary that perhaps I should post somewhere else.
I miss hearing "You're welcome" after I have extended a "thank you" to a server, store clerk, had someone hold the door for me, or any of a number of other situations. I have slipped and said, "No Problem" myself when some has thanked me. I felt like hitting myself on the forehead (as in "I could of had a V-8") and wishing I had said something else, like "thank you."
I want to encourage a return to good manners and invite my fellow English speakers to make better use of "You're welcome."
You are not "over thinking" this at all. But please, go ahead and have another beer and keeping talking! Thank you, Jeff.