Christmas Comes Every Year
Here we go again. The shopping is (hopefully) done, the gifts have been wrapped with TLC, the tree has been decorated and you can smell the cider on the stove. Maybe there’s even a fire crackling in the fireplace.
What’s the point? Okay, you don’t have to answer that. I already know what the point is. I guess I just don’t buy into the rules that we call societal norms. I recently wrote a post on what I call a Christmas lemming. Thankfully I’ve already covered the idea of following the leader so I’ll try to keep away from that with this one-way discussion I call a blog.
My family, friends and lots of people who don’t know a thing about me have a tendency to call me Scrooge or simply can’t wrap their head around the idea of not celebrating Christmas. While I’m not the opposite of Scrooge (that would be a Christmas lemming) I am far from it. The dictionary definition of Scrooge is:
Scrooge: niggard: a selfish person who is unwilling to give or spend
If you’re reading this blog then you’ve most likely crossed paths with me at some point in your life. Do you really consider me to be a selfish person who is unwilling to give or spend? I would put up a poll but somehow that seems to be taking this too far. Am I unwilling to give or spend? Yes, sometimes I am but it never has to do with being selfish. More than likely I’m unwilling to give or spend because I simply don’t agree with the use or purpose of that particular giving or spending. This has nothing to do with being selfish, or in other words, a Scrooge.
So maybe I’m not a Scrooge but why don’t I take this time of year to show the people who mean the most to me that I am thinking of them? Well, I actually do. I send out letters to those who have made a difference and I make sure to call the friends that I just don’t think I could live without. If you’re within a reasonable travel distance I might even drop by to make overweight gingerbread men with you. The point is that I do these things because they mean something to others. They’re important to other people because this time of year we’re all expected to show how much we care. In terms of business I understand that the personal touch matters ten-fold compared with a sturdy business card and a flashy suit. I reach out to my important business contacts because they consider it a vital part of our relationship both in and out of the board room. I hardly see how these acts make me selfish.
What confuses me is why those who know me best are still genuinely surprised when they learn that I’m treating December 25th as just that: the 25th day of the month which means I have 6 more days to meet monthly and annual goals. I’m not throwing a party or ripping open gifts with family and friends. I’m just living the day in my life as I want to live it. I guess I didn’t think it was going to hurt anyone which is why I’m surprised that you’re surprised.
My point is that for you Christmas comes every year and for me there will always be a 25th of December. Just because I didn’t put my arm around you on this 359th (sometimes 360th) day of the year doesn’t mean that I care any less about you. I’m not standing in your way and I’m certainly not trying to kill your Christmas spirit. It’s just not my bag.
I’m glad that at least one day every year you’re reminded to think of those that are most important to you. The last thing I’d want to do is take that away. So drink your egg nog and enjoy your Christmas ham/turkey/goose. I hope Christmas was everything you hoped it to be and then some.
11 Comments
Word. Good post. I'd also like to add that it's unfortunate that some people use holidays to make up for the way they neglect "loved ones" for the rest of the year.
And no, I wouldn't ever think of calling you selfish or unwilling to give or spend. You seem to do you best to ensure a great time is had by all.
Eddie, glad you chimed in today. I couldn't agree with you more. Was it 3 or 4 years ago last night that we met in San Diego and the entire hostel went out for Christmas dinner?
Hope all is well.
Firstly, Jeff you are NOT a scrooge. Secondly, I didn't realize that Christmas was about gift-giving, spending time with family and friends around a decorated tree, or meals, or cookies, or "whatever" (an over-used phrase, I'm sure.). Americans (and perhaps in other places of the world as well) seem to have created an event out of Christmas (Which was borrowed from those who were Christians, who actually borrowed the idea of a Winter festival from non-Christians) that makes it "un-American" to celebrate the 25th of December any other way than with a turkey or ham and other foods, mandatory gift giving, and forced fellowship with family, friends, and neighbors, who otherwise wouldn't be given the time of day. I refuse to participate in such an event.
However, I am a Christian, and I do celebrate the HOLY-day (aka holiday) of Christmas with my fellow Christians at a house of worship. I sing carols, decorate a tree, exchange a few token gifts that are fun or have some special thought to them, and spend time with others for whom this would find this sort of thing meaningful or fun. I definitely don't over-stress about this 12 day festival nor would I even think that everyone SHOULD participate.
I'm not much of a fan of Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Labor Day either….so maybe I'm just not truly an American. Jeff, I appreciate your style of conviction regarding how you spend your time, your money, and engage your values after discernment and pondering. Keep up the good work! BTW, I take it that you celebrate New Year's since you try to complete goals and such by the end of a calendar year.
Ron, always good to hear you weigh in. Glad to hear that you still get together for reasons related to your faith rather than the pressures from society.
Not a fan of the 4th of July? That's pretty much the only time of the year we get to see fireworks though?!? Just kidding. And yes, I do celebrate New Year's with my good buddies vodka and tequila.
Hey Jeffy! Just catching up on things and am happy to see this post. I feel much like you do. About 10 years ago my family decided to dispense with the gift giving and set our intention to treat each other with love and kindness throughout the year. So far so good. We do come together on Christmas Eve, and I like that just fine. I enjoy their company and it's a good excuse as any to get us all in the same room together. We also do this in March for my sister's birthday and 4th of July.
It's a shame my inlaws do not share this mind set, but that is what it is. This year me and my husband decided to ditch the inlaw scene and go up to Kohler, starting a new tradition for us. We spent a couple of magical days at the American Club and it was perfect. After all, we are "family" and we were taking some much needed r&r and quality time together.
While I love receiving and giving gifts it's not the point of Christmas. I do it all year round, to honor those I love, respect and care about. Works for me.
Glad to see it works for you. Keep it going!
Deb xoxoxoxoox
Deb!!!!
I love hearing from you! I was thinking about you up in Kohler over Christmas. So glad to hear that it went well. It's gotta feel great to be starting some traditions of your own.
Miss you!
Jeff