Downsizing to Five Cubic Feet + Beer

By: Jeff Walden

Imagine everything you own. Don't forget about the food in the freezer, the stuff in the basement, that lamp in the corner, your favorite pair of jeans and your prized espresso maker. Now imagine keeping only the items from that list that fit into five cubic feet. Terrifying, isn't it? I'm¬†amending¬†the rules a bit this time around and allowing five cubic feet + beer. What do you keep? Do you begin with the smallest things and work your way up? Do ... Read More »

Divorce Agreement: Time to Go Our Separate Ways

By: Jeff Walden

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right ... Read More »

Just Because it’s “Right” Doesn’t Mean it’s Legal

By: Jeff Walden

If you've ever entered an exciting argument with me it has probably come to a point that you argue the law is wrong and I argue that despite your opinion of the law, it's still the law. I'll throw out a quick example that should make some of your heads explode: Rosa Parks broke the law by sitting in the "white only" section of the bus which means she deserved to be arrested and go to jail. I believe that ... Read More »

Seeing the Benefits of 25

By: Jeff Walden

Everyone I know who is over the age of 30 tells me that it's the best time of their life. For the record, I'm not sure I believe that. Part of me thinks they may just be saying that because they don't have much of a choice. Today I realized the first benefit of being 25. Not only am I able to rent a car without paying through the nose in rental fees, but I also still qualify for the discounted ... Read More »

Finally Turned 25

By: Jeff Walden

Yes, I'm now one of those people, you know, the people who are over that quarter of a¬†century¬†mark in their life. I've been dreading this day for quite some time, as most of you know. Some of you were kind enough to talk me off the ledge and then the rest of you must have forgotten about the anxiety that comes with turning 25. Age is one of those things that you can't control, but that's not from a lack of ... Read More »

Jeff Walden

Destroying the Youth in America

By: Jeff Walden

Now that I'm a quarter of a century old I can talk about the youth in America and how it's not like the good 'ol days anymore. Here are 5 things that I truly believe are destroying the youth we're so desperately trying to get prepared to run the most powerful nation in the world. 1. Smoke Free Bars Is this really necessary? You can probably talk me into smoke-free restaurants and elevators but just leave the drinking establishments out of this. ::cough:: thanks California ::cough:: Too many of my friends recite the same mantra we have all heard: "I just hate going to a bar and reeking of smoke." Here's an idea: drink at home. It's a bar which since the dawn of man has been a place of dubious, sometimes lewd and generally fun times. One of those is smoking. ... Read More »

A Citizen of Nowhere

By: Jeff Walden

I, Jeffery Thomas Walden, am currently a legal resident and citizen of the United States of America. That's it. No other nations in that list. What would happen if I decided to renounce my US citizenship? In theory, I would be a citizen of nowhere. Now the United States makes it pretty clear that the act of renunciation of U.S. citizenship must be done in a foreign country, generally at a U.S. Embassy or Consulate. That means that short of being smuggled back into the United States, I would be banned from entering the country. In fact, I would be banned from entering any internationally recognized nation including the one I would currently be residing in when I renounced my citizenship. My visa for that particular nation would be based on my U.S. citizenship which would have just been revoked. Legally ... Read More »

The Day I Decided to Climb a Gorge

By: Jeff Walden

As some of you know, I recently did a little light hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park. It's been a great experience but the standard trails just weren't enough. One day a large group of us went for what was supposed to be a simple hike to Sky Pond and back. In total it should have been less than 20 miles. Here's how it went. To get to end of the trail, Sky Pond, I basically followed the trail. Two of the three waterfalls I decided to climb instead of walking around them. The third waterfall was mandatory to climb so no extra points there. Once you get to Sky Pond you find yourself standing at the bottom of a giant rock bowl, part of it being a glacier. Surfacing on the other side of the pond from my friends, due ... Read More »

Coffee Will Probably Save My Life

By: Jeff Walden

How many cups of coffee do you consume daily? If it's less than four then you're probably at risk for cirrhosis of the liver. Scared yet? Don't be, just drink more coffee. It makes your talk faster too which is always a bonus. Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13281392/ So they say that 1 cup of coffee per day will cut your chances of cirrhosis by 20% but 4 cups daily will cut your chances by 80%. That's great news for those of us that know how to enjoy a cold beer and a shot a tequila. Does that mean if you drink 5 cups daily you can cut your chances by 100%? Doubtful, but it might be worth trying anyway. Sure, they also make mention that the better way to avoid cirrhosis is to cut out drinking but what fun is that? I thought they also ... Read More »

Your Inability to Find a Job isn’t the Economy’s Fault

By: Jeff Walden

So you can't find a job. That sucks. Guess what sucks even more? Apparently you do at finding a job. Here's why... The job market, for the most part, is a giant game of creativity, deception and hard work. I know these things don't normally sound like they go together but when you think about everything you need to go through in order to find a job, actually get the job and keep the job it's a combination of these three items. Unless you've been handed a trust fund, you're in the same boat as everyone else. Not a single person just "walked into" their job. Sure, maybe it was setup for them but whoever set it up did so for a reason which is probably a result of that work that the newly employed fella did. Everything that happens to ... Read More »